8 years

Dax Manix Myers Sharp turns 8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eight years ago I went to the hospital to experience one of the most joyous times of my life. After pushing for four and half hours I had a beautiful baby boy. Weighing in at a whole seven pounds three ounces.

One of the best babies anyone can ask for. He was such a daddy's boy and slept with him til he went to basic training.

He has a sense of humor and personality that brings joy into my life. I have no clue where the past eight years have gone.

Watching him grow into one of the best big brothers ever. Has brought serious joy to my heart. I don't think anyone could ask for a better bigger brother than him.

Dax Manix Myers Sharp mommy loves you more than anything in this world. I have no clue what my life would be like without you. You bring joy and smiles into my life. Watching you grow into the man your going to be has been one of the best things in my life. I want you to be the best you can be but be anything you want to be. I want the whole world for you.

Happy 8th Birthday Dax Manix mommy loves you.

Deployment crash

So it seems like if anything can go wrong in this deployment it surely is going to happen to me. Both vehicles are still having issues hoping they can get worked out soon. My parents came to see me and as soon as they walked in the door on Thursday they find out my dad's mom was getting rushed to the er. They gave her til the end of the weekend to live. Dax's birthday party was Saturday and five minutes after walking into the party my dad gets the phone call she had passed away. My parents left a day early to go help with funneral arrangements. Finally getting some answers with Dax and I guess I am finally ready to talk about them. Dax has always had some serious anger issues I always thought they were from daddy leaving so much. That is some of it after him starting one fire after John left and and tried starting another one I decied its time for something to happen. Dax has finally been diagnosed with ADHD we are getting some steps in place for him and its so nice finally figuring it out. He has been seeing a thearapist weekly so it has been helping some. I went to the doctor a few weeks ago for my yearly gyno visit. It had been 4 years since I had been. The past six months I have been having some womenly issues and had been trying to get in but sometime its so hard getting in. I finaly go see my doctor and she does the exam and I tell her everything going on she says to me Ashlie I am pretty concerned. I am going to be sending you to do lab work, setting up an ultrasound, and sending a referal in for you to see an actual gynocologist. She says its possible you can have uterine cancer. Something that you do not want to hear at all especially while your husband is thousands of miles away. I have done lab work. I go in tomorrow for my two ultrasounds and next Wednesday I will be going in to see the gynocologist. They are not releasing any results til I go see the doctor next Wednesday which makes me more anxiesios. I have been so stressed with these upcoming doctor aptoinments. I often cry at night just wanting to be in my husbands arms so he can tell me its going to be okay. This is something I never want to do on my own but at this moment I dont have an option. I only have a month til my husband comes home on r and r and I am hoping when he goes back things will go better and time flies for the end.

Times like these

Times like these I wish my husband was home so he can just wrap his arms around me and I could cry. Times like these I wish my husband could say everything will be okay. Time like these I wish I could pick up the phone and call my husband. Times like these I just want to hear my husbands voice. Times like these I miss my husband the most. Times like these makes me realize how much I truly love him and want him home.

Bloggy Slump.

So I have been in a bloggy slump or just a slump in life in general. Every time I get on to start blogging I decide I'm to tired and I decide against it. The past three weeks have been a little bit crazy stressful. Both vehicles are out of commission hoping to get the jeep fixed by this weekend so I at least have one vehicle. So since I haven't blogged in a while this one might be a little all over the place. My brother in law came and visited for a couple weeks he was suppose to stay 3 weeks but wanted to go home early. It was weird having another male in the home not my husband. It was a good visit overall. I have my best friend from Oklahoma coming to visit at the end of this month just for the weekend. I am excited that she is finally getting to come visit with Kaden. The kids know someone is coming but do not have a clue who is coming so when we go get them from the airport the kids will then find out. I also have my mom, dad, and maybe my sister Brandy's family coming around Dax's birthday. So as you can tell I have been busy with visitors it will probably slow down once my parents leave. We are officially 61 days away from my husband's R & R. I am so ready for him to be home its not even funny. I have officially enrolled in CTU ( Colorado Technical University) I will do 2 maybe 3 semesters online til Peyton starts preschool in the fall. I am going to get my associates through them and then I will change to a state college to get my bachelors and masters. It all depends on where we will be at when I need to start them. John is considering not reenlisting makes me nervous the army life has been our life for 8 years now I don't know what it will be like my husband being home regularly. Not knowing what he will be doing is scary. I think it will be best for our family though him being gone this time not getting to talk to him but once every week has been hard on me and the kids especially Peyton. I think this deployment has really gotten to him being away from the kids and him realizing how much he is missing out on. So Dax has been seeing a Psychiatrist we did some testing we should find out if its either ADHD or Bi Polar. I am ready to have results to start working on the outcome. It has been a struggle for awhile but now seeing we might get results makes me happy for him. That maybe he might have a better life. He does not know any different but I think it will make tons of difference. I was doing so good on working out and with me not having a reliable vehicle the past three weeks has made it hard for me to get to the gym. I am not giving up I will be back there as soon as I get a vehicle up and running. I have lost 30 pounds and 30 inches. I am determined to do the Iron Girl in August I have not been this excited about something in a long time. I guess this is enough update for now. Hopefully I get out of my bloggy slump soon.

Thankful

So I have to say I have made some amazing friends the past couple months. I have no clue what I would do without them during this deployment. They have made the time fly that is for sure. I am still very thankful for my other friends cause they have always been there for me no matter what. I have been laughing my butt off, working out enjoying it, cleaning my big ole house, hanging out, and chatting away with the great group of friend. Who honestly could say their friends come over to help you clean your garage that is packed full or just come hang out for hours upon end in my crazy so called life. They give great advice when needed and just listen to you grip about this deployment. I am so ready to go shopping tomorrow with the girls to get ready for our big girl night out. I am also excited for Halloween its going to be a blast that's for sure. So a funny thing my husband emails me and he says he has a whole pregnancy left of this deployment it made me laugh.

Funk of a Mood

So today marks the 3 month mark in this deployment. I don't know why but I am having a terrible time with this deployment. So Monday I got in this funk I do not get to talk to John but maybe once a week for like 20 min. I am very thankful for that time but I get sad because I wished I got to talk to him more often. So he calls me Monday and the conversation did not go as well as I had hoped. It was a whole three minute conversation getting off the phone not pleasant with each other. I have not talk to him yet. I think this is part of my funk. We have also switched up our workout routine and that usually sends me into a funk also I didn't realize this til it got pointed out to me today which it makes all the sense now. I seriously need to get out of this funk I only have two weeks til I have company coming and I need to crack down on this house on getting it organized. Since they will be staying for three weeks I just want to make sure everything will be prepared. I am officially starting to train for the Tri Lady next August I am quite scared to conquer this but I know if I put enough effort into it I know I will be able to do it. I have a girls night out at the end of this month and I think it will probably lift my spirits don't get me wrong I love my kids more than anything in this life but this mama needs some time to myself. It worked out perfect because I don't really trust new people watching the kids and since my brother in law will be here he will be watching the kids for me. I am very thankful for him willing to take time and watch kids for me while he is here. Getting into the swing of the kids being in school with the workout routine is going well. I only have til September til our new schedules start. Peyton will be in a mommy and me baking class, Dax will be in Kung Fu, and Trisha will be in ballet til at least December. I know it will be hectic busy but maybe time will fly. I only have 3 months til John comes home for R and R and it seems so far away. I know not every couple gets along 100% of the time its just a lot harder when they are away because we can't talk things out. I know its just a hump and I shouldn't let it get me down so much. I have some incredible friends here and away that help me get through this deployment and I would not have a clue what to do with out them. I know this blog is all over the place I haven't blogged in a while. I need to make a commitment to do it at least once a week.

Stressed to the Max

So to sit and say the past week was stressful much have been an understatement. Last Friday I had made Dax an appointment with the psycologist on Peterson Air Force Base because his anger issues has just spiraled out of hand. He has always had them but they have gotten progressivly worse sicne John left in May. Which is to be expected but its to the point I say what am I suppose to do and I cant expect teachers to over look the issue. I knew he had a wonderful teacher last year that knew how to deal with his anger but he is not always goign to have that. My life is crazy busy anyways. I went to register the kids in CYS so that I could take advantage of the free 16 hours of childcare a month while John is gone. Well that took forever. Got home from registering them to register Trisha in Ballet, Dax in Kung Fu, and Peyton in a mommy and me baking class since he is two he cant really take much. So writing all the dates on the calendar started stressing me out a little. Well the next day is the day we were suppose to go in and see the pyscologist about Dax. I check the mail and I had a letter in it saying at Trisha's physical for ballet she failed her hearing test and I needed to get ahold of the nurse to discuss what was going to happen. I knew i was going in that next day for Dax's appointment and I could talk to them then. So I talk to the nurse and she said that she would be getting more testing done either at the Airforce Academy or Fort Carson. That they would be contacting me about her appointment. I go talk to Dax's pscologist and discuss what hass been goign on with him. She thinks he either has ADHD, mood/anxiety disorder, or contect disorder and he would need more testing done and come up with a plan to deal with whatever he might have. She gives me a list of the best testers here in the Springs. I figured it would not be a big deal getting him in but most could not get him in til the middle of October and I dont know if I will be able to deal with this til then. I got lucky though cause one of the pyscologist that test and treats them could get him in at the end of August so I jumped on it. So I get the letter in the mail stating Trisha's audiology appooint is August 10 at 8 am and I am not allowed to bring any other kids. So trying to reschedule her was a true hassel 3 hours later I got her rescheduled for the end of August at Fort Carson. On top of all the kids issues that are happening and their appointments I have to put off my yearly appointment for another month because I cant find time to go with all of their appointments. I say to myself I have put it off for 4 years what is another month but this is something I really need to stop putting off and just go already. Stressed to the max leave it to me to wait til the weekend before they start school to go get their school supplies which costed me an arm and a leg. Then I am having problems with a lady a few doors down. Instead of talking to me like an adult about my dog she acts like a child. I am a person if you talk to me like an adult I will take care of the issue. However if you just assume I know there is a problem and think I am just ignoring its your problem because I did not know there was a problem so how am I suppose to knwo to fix it. So after I got this nasty little letter on my door yesterday I decied I have had enough with her. I go down to talk to her and instead of talking she has an attitude and immediatly starts yelling I can not and choose not to deal with people like her to much drama bs. She said she would continue to keep pestering me since I am not dealing with the situation. So I assume thats harrassment. I call the local police department and two and half hours later they show up. Thinking I have the right to ask someone to stay off my properity if I so choose to do so I guess I was completely wrong. Since my dog woke her up she has the right to come over here and talk to me however she so chooses to talk to me. I still think its bs but whatever. I am going to go invest in a no treaspassing sign and a bb gun and if she thinks she can continue to bother me she is all wrong cause i have the right to shoot if she treaspasses. Im thinking about taking a gun safety coarse but I am kinda leary about having a gun in the house with the kids. I have been putting Lucy my dog inside everynight now so if she says its my dog she is dead wrong. So on top of all the stress goign on I took the kids to IHOP yesterday and broke a tooth man can't I just catch a break. Times like these I wish my husband was home or I at least could just pick up the phone and call him. I miss you Johnathon Leon.